To: All Spanish Employees

To:  All Spanish Employees
 
Several visitors have brought to our attention that our Spanish speaking employees commonly use offensive language.  Such behavior, in addition to violating the firm policies, is higly unprofessional, offensive both to visitors and employees, and will not be tolerated.
 
Therefore we have dicided to implement a series of rules in our ofice and expect them to be applied.  It is expected that ALL employees immediately adhere to these rules:
 
1- Words like "coño, carajo" and other such espressions will not be used for emphasis, no matter how heated the discussion may get.
 
2- Non importants matters should not be addressed to as "pendejadas".
 
3- You will not say "la cagó" when someone makes a mistake, or "se cagó en su madre" if you see someone being reprimanded.  All forms and derivatives of the word "cagar" are inappropriate in our environment .
 
4- Lack of determination will not be referred to as falta de cojones or mariconerías, nor will a person with lack of initiative be referred to as pendejo, mamao or comemierda.
 
5-  No Manager or Supervisor, under any circumstance, will be referred to as "hijo de puta, ese cabrón", or "maricón".
 
6- When a good proposal is presented, the term "está de pinga" must not be used.
 
7- Unusual or creative brainstorming meetings should not be referred to as "pajas mentales".
 
8- Do not say “como jode” if a person is persistent, or "se jodió" if somebody is going through a difficult situation.  Furthermore, you must not say "que jodienda", or "esto está del "when matters become complicated in your line of work.
 
9- When asking someone to leave you alone, you should not say "vete pa'l carajo", nor will you substitute  "¿Qué carajo quieres"? for ¿May I help you?
 
10- When leaving the office using the term "me voy pa'l carajo" is not proper.
 
11- When any office equipment fails, it must be reported as " it broke down". not "se descojonó"  or  "se jodió la mierda ésta".
 
Last but not least, after reading this memorandum, please do not say "me voy a limpiar el culo con esto".  Just keep it clean and file it properly.
 
Thank you for your cooperation.